free printable anger iceberg worksheet pdf

This is where The Anger Iceberg comes in.Įven if it feels a little scary, I want you to think about what’s really happening underneath the surface. But what if you’re not reallllllyyyyy angry? What if you’re ignoring the bigger picture to your detriment? It may feel more comfortable to tell yourself that you’re just angry, or that so and so deserved your ire. Anger can feel like a really protective mechanism. You, honestly, might not want to think about what’s really going on when you have an angry reaction (or overreaction). We don’t always want to dive down into those cold waters. 90% of an iceberg is hidden underneath the water, way down deep in the murky depths. They’re huge! And we only see the top 10%. is only the tip of the iceberg.Īs you may already know, icebergs are massive. What we’re showing people on the outside - the punching, the yelling, the fawning, the ‘disrespectful tone,’ etc. Looking underneath the surface of your anger response: They’re valid! But it’s important to explore why you may not have 100% realized that your angry overreactions are actually due to anxiety.

Your internal experience and external reaction are your own. There’s no such thing as a right or wrong reaction to anxiety. I want to emphasize that “typical” is just another word for “expected,” but it’s not a stand in for right, correct, or even preferred. And they DEFINITELY tend to miss that it’s really anxiety when that FIGHT reaction comes out. Outside observers don’t always notice that people pleasers are experiencing anxiety, too (that fawn reaction). If you have a “typical” anxiety response, you’re going to want to run away from the scary event, or freeze and look really shy and quiet. “Typical” Anxiety and Anxiety-Driven Anger:

Free printable anger iceberg worksheet pdf